Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Quick healing
I always lose to the golf course anyway, but last night it made a physical assault on me: first fall went to Emerald Greens (but I'm going best two out of three). When I turned to walk down the fairway after my second shot on the par 4 dogleg left 3rd hole, I stepped in a pit about 18" deep and crashed to the ground on my right side. It didn't hurt (much) and I walked the last six holes. Over dinner, though, it tightened up and began to ache, enough that I couldn't get to sleep for about an hour. I had visions of having to go into work on a crutch or cane.

I guess I'm a quick healer, though. On waking up, I could walk without pain, go up and down stairs...the whole bit. Thank goodness.

When I had my skull operation to relieve pressure on the facial nerve during my Bell's Palsy attach in 2005, I was out of the hospital in three days, despite the doctor's telling me I'd be in five to seven. (They wanted to give me morphine while I was in ICU, but after I'd seen what it did to my brother while he was dying of colon cancer, I took a couple of ibuprofen instead and held an icepack to my throbbing head.)

One of the things they did to me was install a titanium plate in my skull. I'm still a little chary of shaving it and all, but it's probably tough enough to take that. In fact, about six months after the operation a 200-pound bruiser slammed into me playing volleyball (you can't tell some people that's supposed to be a noncontact sport) and we bonked heads. It sounded like two coconuts being clapped together, and when the noise died away he was out cold.

As he sat up, groggy, I offered the sympathetic observation, "You don't want to do that: I'm titanium-enriched."

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Everything but...
I have the shoes, big sneakers I used to wear for volleyball, but which work fine for golf.
I have the Superman golf pants (see below) I wear for work, with legs I unzip when I need to rush to get to my tee time. (No telephone booth required.)
I have the golf shirt, portraying golfers and galleries on a collared green-tinged t-shirt material.
I have the golf hat, today the red one with Barcelona imprinted on it, but often the khaki one that has Golf Today, in honor of the magazine I write for.
I have the dark golf glasses, able to spot my ball in any rough...not.
I boast golf attitude, the knowledge that on a good day I can hit the ball long and straight.

The only thing I lack is golf aptitude. Like so many people today, I have the attitude, but not the aptitude. But I'll keep trying.