Better Living Through Chemistry

I came out of the hospital, and one of the pills the doctors gave me to use if I needed it was Oxycontin. I didn't realize that was highly desirable as a narcotic--a recent TV news report said they sold for $26 a pill on the street (as of Nov., 2005, they were selling for $80, with the next step up being heroin)--but didn't want to take anything other than Tylenol/acetominophen.

When I went into the doctor's Monday, he asked if I'd been having any pain. I told him, "Not much. I take a Tylenol when I have some. In fact, I haven't even taken any of those Oxymorons you gave me."

He told me I should get some earwax remover to get my left ear canal open. My last run-in with that stuff left me in pain: the bottle was the same size and shape as the eyedrops I'd been given. Within minutes of returning from the hospital after my operation, I had grabbed that bottle and dropped some in my eye!

Sting? Boy, I'll say. I washed it out thoroughly, and my girlfriend raced me to the VA urgent care, where they washed it out some more. The doctor there assured me it hadn't done any permanent damage, and regaled me with a story about a woman who had put her fingernail glue in her eye. At least I didn't feel totally stupid...only mostly.

So be very careful when doing anything with your eyes. Paint the bottles different colors, if they are the same shape. You don't need permanent problems because of a mistake.

As for the blisters on my head, my girlfriend suggested I wipe them with essence of lavender. Just the essential oil. I did so, and the blisters appear to have disappeared. Wonderful stuff.